Thoughts on "This service" or "The service"?

Phoenix Case Discussions
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If you look at the cases, a ton of them have these quotes before getting into what the service does and I think it would be better if not as much titles had it . A downside I can possibly think of is that “This service” and “The service” has more precise wording but if someone is looking at the summary of a specific site, I would assume that they know that the service they are looking at is being referred to and not a third party because that would be included in the case title.
If it was changed I believe it would also be changed in the extension as well, and I think the new/shorter name would read better with people who are using the extension as well as people annotating the documents. I would love thoughts and feedback on the idea though

For example:
The service provides a complaint mechanism for the handling of personal data → A complaint mechanism is provided for the handling of personal data
This service does not sell your personal data → Your personal data is not sold
This service uses third-party cookies for statistics → Third-party cookies are used for statistics
The service can read your private messages → Private messages can be read

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I agree with your suggestion. I think it makes it cleaner and easier to read, while reducing inconsistencies between cases having “This service” vs “The service.”

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I also agree with your suggestion. Not a very huge change but would be much more consistent.

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Yes, it’s a lot cleaner. When constructing the passive tense one has to be careful not to omit important context, however. For instance, Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix (“Content is published under a free license instead of a bilateral one”) fails to mention whose content. Presumably user-uploaded content like the other cases in the topic “Copyright license”, but it could also be [mis]interpreted as website-published content – and indeed depending on the details of the terms, there may not be a simple difference (if user content is processed to make site content).

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On retrospective, I believe the wording This Service would be more fitting in (maybe) every instance, since most of our users view the Points through our Browser Extensions, which emphasizes “The Service you are currently viewing/logged on” much more efficiently.

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But isn’t that repetitive?

I agree with @serph, it’s a lot cleaner and easier to read rather than “The service.”, “This Service”

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I agree with @Peepo, it’s easier to read short titles for the cases, so I think removing “This service” or “The service” from as much case titles as possible is a great idea.
I’ve tried that with some cases, let me know what you think!

Edit: @PrivatePrawn and @justin have raised some issues so I’ve changed the titles of some cases according to what has been proposed.
This post can now be edited by anyone, so feel free to rephrase the following cases and to change to the passive form other cases that aren't yet listed.

Shortened titles

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/122 → The terms may be changed at any time, but the user will receive notification of the changes

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Logs are kept for an undefined period of time

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Information is provided about how your personal data is used

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Users are prohibited from sending chain letters, junk mail, spam or any unsolicited messages

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Information is provided about security practices

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Users are informed about the risk of publishing personal info online

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Your account can be deleted without prior notice and without a reason

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/143 → This service is only available for use individually and non-commercially

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Archives of their Terms of Service are provided so that changes can be viewed over time

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Third parties are not allowed to access your personal information without a legal basis

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → This Service promises to inform and/or notify users regarding government inquiries that may involve users’ personal data

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Your account can be suspended for several reasons

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Users are prohibited from attempting to gain unauthorized access to other computer systems

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → User information is only shared with third parties when given specific consent

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Information is provided about how they collect personal data

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → The data retention period is kept to the minimum necessary for fulfilling its purposes

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → A list of all cookies set by the website is provided

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Alternative accounts are not allowed

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Many different types of personal data are collected

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Users will be notified if personal data has been affected by data breaches

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → You are not being tracked

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → You are being tracked via social media cookies/pixels

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Your IP address is collected, which can be used to view your approximate location

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Details are provided about what kind of information they collect

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Your Personal data may be sold unless you opt out

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Only temporary session cookies are used

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Your content can be deleted if you violate the terms

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Users are tracked via web beacons, tracking pixels, browser fingerprinting, and/or device fingerprinting

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Pseudonyms are allowed

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Your personal information is used for many different purposes

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/216 → Your personal data is used for advertising

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → A free help desk is provided

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → This Service is only available for users over a certain age

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Users will be notified about website maintenance

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → No guarantee is given regarding quality

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Your use is throttled

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Critical changes to the terms are made without user involvement

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → User communications can be blocked or censored

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Specific content can be deleted without reason and may be removed without prior notice

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → 30 days of notice are given before closing your account

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Any content you post may be edited by the service

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → >Political discussions which are against the government-advocated value are prohibited

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Your personal data may be sold or otherwise transferred as part of a bankruptcy proceeding or other type of financial transaction

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Two factor authentication is provided for your account

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → An anonymous payment method is offered

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Political discussions or campaining are prohibited

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → The posting of pornographic content is prohibited

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Users aren’t allowed to publicly post private messages

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Users are prohibited from posting content which promotes violence or politically or religiously extremist values.

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → The publishing of personally identifiable information without the owner’s consent is not allowed

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/479 → Users aren’t allowed to remove or edit user-generated content

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/130 → A license is kept on user-generated content even after users close their accounts

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/134 → User content can be licensed to third parties

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/138 → Instructions are provided on how to submit a copyright claim

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/139 → Your content can be distributed through any media known now or in the future

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/127 → Third party cookies are employed, but with opt out instructions

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/128 → Third-party cookies are used for advertising
( “for other purposes without your consent” makes no sense to me and I’ve only seen third party cookies being employed for either statistics or advertising)

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/233 → Do Not Track (DNT) headers are ignored and users are tracked anyway even if they set this header.

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/383 → Your browser’s Do Not Track (DNT) header is respected

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/126 → First-party cookies are used

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/140 → You can retrieve an archive of your data

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/311 → Personal data is not shared with third parties

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/382 → Information is gathered about you through third parties

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/200 → Separate policies are employed for different parts of the service
https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/220 → Your personal data is used to employ targeted third-party advertising

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/336 → Your personal data may be used for marketing purposes

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/211 → Extra data may be collected about you through promotions

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/339 → Users are forced into binding arbitration in case of disputes

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/335 → Users aren’t forced into binding arbitration in case of disputes

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/406 → An onion site accessible over Tor is provided

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/395 → Your browser history can be viewed by the service

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/381 → No third-party analytics or tracking platforms are used

https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/209 → Users are warned of the potential consequences related to third-party access

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I like these waaay better and makes it easier to read! Should we apply them?

Though I have a couple changes for some cases:

Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Users are informed about security practices
https://edit.tosdr.org/cases/143 → We should keep it like that
Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Archives of their Terms of Service are provided so that changes can be viewed over time
Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → You are not being tracked
Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → You are being tracked via social media cookies/pixels
Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Details about what kind of information they collect is provided
Terms of Service; Didn't Read - Phoenix → Only temporary session cookies are used

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9

I support removing “This service” or “The service”, one of the reasons being that it makes searching for cases while annotating a lot easier. I also agree with @justin that some cases should include “This service” for more clarity.

Like @Agnes_de_Lion said, it’s important for users to be able to quickly skim all the points of a website. With that in mind, I think all the cases should use one consistent voice (I think passive voice works the best here). This shouldn’t just be a situation where “This service” is simply removed from the beginning of a sentence, detracting from the understanding.

To demonstrate, one case is in passive voice, and the other is active:

  1. Your personal data is used for advertising
  2. Tracking via web beacons, tracking pixels, browser fingerprinting, and/or device fingerprinting on users

This requires the user (or me at least) to take a pause and switch to a different way of reading the sentence before continuing. It’d be much easier if both were in passive voice:

  1. Your personal data is used for advertising
  2. Users are tracked via web beacons, tracking pixels, browser fingerprinting, and/or device fingerprinting

Most of the suggested changes are already in passive voice (which is probably because most of us subconsciously default to that). There’s just a few that need to be changed. Unfortunately, I can’t post more than 4 links yet, but here are 4 passive versions I came up with.
Case 323: The service may use tracking pixels, web beacons, browser fingerprinting, and/or device fingerprinting on users. → Users are tracked via web beacons, tracking pixels, browser fingerprinting, and/or device fingerprinting
Case 227: The service provides information about how they intend to use your personal data → Information is provided about how your personal data is used
Case 281: This service prohibits users sending chain letters, junk mail, spam or any unsolicited messages. → Users are prohibited from sending chain letters, junk mail, spam or any unsolicited messages
Case 231: The service informs users about the risk of publishing personal info online → Users are informed about the risk of publishing personal info online

Let me know what you think, I can come up with a list for all the cases if needed.

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I’m applying the changes today.
Feel free to suggest other rephrasings for the remaining cases!

Edit: I’ve also replaced in as much cases as possible the word “user” by the second person pronoun to unify the phrasings and so that the user feels more involved.

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